Finding Beauty in the Broken

I stumbled upon a quote by a writer called Charles Bukowski. I don’t read books per se, only technical manuals if I need reference … so I’m not as familiar with writers as perhaps a lot of people that write are.

I watched several video accounts of his life, describing him as having an abusive childhood and living with alcoholism, struggling with the lack of notoriety up until he reached his fifties.

I was intrigued by his life and more importantly his quotes, which I’ll share a few here, as well as my own thoughts.

“For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered”.

Having a book on life and the manual of how to live it, perhaps he feels robs the individual of learning life’s lessons and their meaning the hard way? Although their are many that turn to religion in times of need, and are happy to accept it’s teachings, his wisdom actually seems to parallel in some aspects, such as love and war, kindness etc. He aligned himself with people that also suffered in life, perhaps feeling more at home in their company.

“Find what you love and let it kill you”.

This is a good life lesson for future generations, or those that need a direction in life. If you don’t do what you love, wholeheartedly … what’s the point? Although he spent a lot of his life working in jobs that he hated, he still wrote as often as he could, it was his passion.

“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise don’t even start”.

Interestingly, “Don’t try” was written on his grave stone. Just let your creativity or flow of thoughts happen naturally, embrace your true essence I guess is what is meant here. “If it doesn’t come roaring out of you in spite of everything, don’t do it” is a similar quote. He felt that a life lived would be pointless without allowing your true self to be manifested, or at least the part that was most intriguing or gives the most inspiration?

“Real loneliness is not really limited, when you are alone”.

I think here he means that loneliness led him to many realizations about himself and the human condition. The individual can choose to either escape it and seek the company of others, or stick around and see what insights can be gained. Even though he struggled with depression and alcoholism for a large part of his life, he was able to bring clarity and wisdom in his writings, that the individual can really connect with.

“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first”.

He recognizes that some people may find it difficult to love themselves. I’m sure that he must have struggled throughout his younger life with the concept of loving yourself, bearing the scars of his abusive childhood. He had a way of turning things on their head in order to find a solution. “My father was a great literary teacher. He taught me the meaning of pain. Pain without reason.” Perhaps a touch of satire, but definitely needed in order to come to terms with reality, instead of pushing it out negatively into the world perhaps.

“The only time people think about injustice, is when it happens to them”.

This is perhaps a call to action for us all to stand up more for injustices in the world.

He was at odds with most people, “I don’t hate people, I just feel better when they are not around” gives a clearer idea as to his displeasure of most people. “The free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it. Basically you feel good, very good, when you are near or with them”.

“You have to die a few times, before you can be really alive”.

This is perhaps one of my favorites. Suffering does plays an important part of one’s life and leads to realizations that you perhaps wouldn’t experience otherwise.

“Beware of those seeking constant crowds; they are nothing alone”. “We must bring our own light to the darkness”.

Intention is key here. Recognizing that we are all special and have value is so important and should be fully recognized. But leading back to loving yourself first, not from an egotistic or narcissistic perspective, only then can you be of useful service to others. We have our own sovereignty that should be preserved and nurtured, something that large parts of society strives to strip away from the individual.

“I wasn’t lonely. I experienced no self pity. I was just caught up in a life in which I could find no meaning”.

This resonates greatly. Living a life that fully gives you complete freedom to do, say or think exactly what you want, is becoming increasingly difficult. Those seeking it often find themselves living on the fringe of society. A society not invested in individuals pursuing their own growth and healing, but rather one that is focused on an inhuman pursuit of exploitation.

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”

Any individual that doesn’t experience bouts of severe imbalance, often followed by ecstatic emotions, like an emotional roller coaster ride, I feel is perhaps “less than human”? Provided of course it doesn’t cause harm to others, sometimes it can give you something to chuckle about or actually learn an important lesson from. Throughout our lives, we are conditioned not to take risks or do something impulsive and a bit wild. Staying in your comfort zone limits your ability to expand horizons and fully appreciate the ways that you can add color to your life.

“An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way, An artist says a hard thing in a simple way”.

I prefer to switch “artist” for “teacher” as perhaps they are making impressions or sending ripples further across the divide of human consciousness, than any “intellectual” possibly could. Making a simple thing difficult to understand, just dumbs down a population to lesser things. I’m a simple thinker, perhaps having problems concentrating has meant I’ve had to adapt or find that a lot of speakers just over complicate subjects to make themselves look professional? Being able to explain something or put across a point of view, as simply and as understandable, (more relatable perhaps?) has always been something I’ve appreciated and tried to emulate. There are also several examples in the bible, where a situation has been broken down to having a much clearer meaning, to better understand an otherwise complex situation that has been unnecessarily over complicated by so-called scholars.

“Wherever the crowd goes, always run in the opposite direction. They’re always wrong!”.

Having your own mind about something is perhaps your greatest gift. It might change over time but that’s the beauty of being human, right? This quote shows the lack of faith that Charles has in society generally.

“People with no morals often considered themselves more free, but mostly they lacked the ability to feel or love”.

I would also say that about happiness. As though it’s something that you can switch on and off at a whim. I think here he’s suggesting that freedom is impossible to many people, because of their own unresolved issues?

“Sometimes you climb out of bed and you think, I’m not going to make it. But you laugh inside remembering all the times that you felt that way”.

Again, using the ability to turn things around to cope with a feeling of impending dread. It’s a feeling that most people in jobs or relationships that they don’t “belong” in have experienced.

“Writing about writer’s block is better than not writing at all”.

This made me chuckle. It’s working with the problem rather than trying to fight it I guess. It showed that even struggling with what to write, he was able to overcome any obstacle, because he was passionate about sharing any thoughts that did come. This probably also relates to “don’t try”, as the more you do try the harder it gets?

“The nine-to-five is one of the greatest atrocities sprung upon mankind. You give your life away to a function that doesn’t interest you”.

Agreed!

“What is terrible is not death, but the lives that people lead up until their death”.

He felt very strongly about the course of humanity and the quality of people’s lives, or rather “half lives” I guess.

“People are strange: they are constantly angered by trivial things, but on a major matter like totally wasting their lives, they hardly seem to notice”.

It’s true, that in our seemingly modern day civilized era, we are blinkered enough to only care about things outside of our control.

“If a person smiles at you when you look at them, it means the world finds harmony in that moment”.

It’s so true. Things usually go wrong as soon as the conversation starts :) … joking.

Thanks for reading this far. I do hope you’ll look further into Charles Bukowski for more quotes and find more inspiration in his books.